2
At night, I sat on the bed lost in thought.
Lucas closed his laptop, closed his eyes to relieve his sore eyes for a moment, then got up and lifted the covers to get into bed.
He habitually turned his back to me, leaving enough space between us to fit a pillow.
Sleeping posture never lies.
We’ve been together for eight years, yet he still can’t get used to sleeping in the same bed with me.
I’ve always been thick–skinned in front of him. Even if he’s unwilling, I would sneak over when he’s asleep, press tightly against his back, and hug his waist.
Even our first time was something I begged for shamelessly.
3:01 PM D
<
I vaguely remember it was raining heavily that day.
The dense raindrops pattered against the window panes, and the air was cold and damp.
I took off my little jacket and slowly walked towards him…
Hugged him.
And he stood still without moving.
The waist under a man’s white shirt was so thin and narrow.
Unlike me, his body temperature was very high.
I was trembling all over with shame, thinking that if he rejected me, I might just want to die.
I looked up and smiled at him with all my might, but tears blurred my vision.
At that time, I was so afraid of hearing words like “shameless,” “cheap,” or “disgusting” from his mouth.
After all, I was still a young girl, with mindless courage but no ability to bear the consequences.
He looked at me coldly.
As if he would push me away the next moment.
I fumbled with his buttons with shaking hands, my legs trembling so much I could barely stand.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
I stammered, unable to speak.
He lowered his head and kissed me, with a bitter taste mixed with tears, “You don’t even know how to seduce someone, silly.”
I smelled a faint scent of alcohol.
His girlfriend had moved on to someone else, and he was in a bad mood.
I took advantage of the situation, and from then on, he had a piece of flypaper he couldn’t shake off.
In the pitch darkness, I stared at the vague outline of the chandelier on the ceiling.
Perhaps when death is approaching, one’s mindset becomes more peaceful.
The person I once wasted my youth chasing after, the feelings I once tore my heart out for, now seem less important than whether I can see
tomorrow’s sunrise.
