Chapter 23
I groaned intemally i as I woke up I hated this
The beeping machines, the smell of antiseptic, the white walls. I was so damn tired of waking up in a hospital.
All my muscle ached, and my body felt like it had been dragged through hell. But none of that mattered. My hands shook as I pressed them against my abdomen !!
My baby Was my baby okay?
I couldn’t tell, and it made me feel so hopeless as I tried to imagine myself losing yet another child &
A sob escaped me at that thought. I didn’t know if I could bear it this time:
My eyes shifted to Killian who was in the chair beside my bed.
He was asleep, which was surprising because of how uncomfortable he looked in that chair. However, my heart clenched as I stared
at him. He looked even worse than the last time I had woken up in a hospital room, when Richard shot me.
There were dark shadows under his eyes, and he had a troubled look on his face as he slept.
He looked wrecked
I didn’t want to wake him, because of how exhausted he looked, but I really wanted to know how my baby was.E
Before I could make a decision, the door creaked open, and a doctor stepped in.
Killian jolted awake instantly with his body tense like he was ready to attack. His eyes snapped to the doctor, then to me.!!
The relief in his eyes was so overwhelming.
“June” he murmured softly
However, there was a look in his eyes that caused fear to course through me.
“Doctor,” I whispered, because my throat hurt. “My baby..”
The doctor hesitated for a second, and that second was enough.|||
I knew
I knew before the words left his mouth!!
“Im so sorry,” he said softly
The world went black for a moment
No.X
No.
“No,” I whispered, shaking my head violently. “No. No, no, no?”||
I struggled to sit up, ignoring the intense pain in my body. My hands held my stomach tightly as I shook my head refusing to accept
“June” Killian said softly, but I barely heard him.
I released a sob as I clutched my stomach fighter
Not again. Not again.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think
Tears streamed down my face, as I gasped for air “No I can’t I cant=”|||
“Not again! Not again! Why me?!” I cried out
Killian moved to stand beside me. His hands hovered over me
me like he wanted to touch me but didn’t know how
“I’m sorry,” the doctor said again, but his words were meaningless to me They couldn’t bring my child back
Nothing mattered to me
Warm, strong arms wrapped around me, as Killian pulled me into his chest I didn’t fight him. I couldn’t. I collapsed against him, as my body wracked with sobs.
He held tightly, and his hand held the back of my head, pressing me closer. “Mi amore,” he murmured softly
I sobbed harder, my fingers clutched his shirt tightly.
“I can’t—” | sobbed. 1 can’t do this again.
“I know,” he whispered “I know, mi amore” He pressed a soft kiss on the top of my head
I lost track of how long he held me that way, till I fell asleep.
The days before and after I was discharged, I was lost in my gnef.
Killian barely left my side. He made sure I ate, even when I had no appetite. He wrapped me in blankets when I felt cold, and held me when the tears came
Something had changed
I felt it in the way he looked at me, in the way his hands lingered when he touched me. In the way his voice softened when he spoke
my name
Even lost in my grief, I knew something was different, especially when my mind flashed back to Lila’s words
With the help of Killian, I was getting better.
According to Killian, Lila was arrested and was in jail for the murder of my unborn child, and attempted murder
One evening as I sat on the couch reading a book with Killian sitting down beside me, I noticed that something was troubling him
He didn’t say anything at first. He just watched me, like he was trying to figure out how to ask me something he had been holding in. Finally, he exhaled. “Why didn’t you tell me you were pregnant?” He asked quietly
I had been expecting that question for a long time. I could see that he had been wanting to ask me that question for a long time, but he had waited till he was sure I was better
Even though I had been expecting this question, I didn’t know how to answer.&
I glanced up at Killian. He wasn’t angry, but there was an unreadable expression on his face.
I sighed, looking away. “I wanted to tell you.” I said softly.
“Then why didn’t you?” He asked.X
I closed the book and kept it aside. “Because the day I found out I said slowly. “It was the same day you introduced Lila”
Killian stiffened beside me. He clenched his jaw, but he said nothing.”
I forced myself to keep talking. “You looked so… protective of her. And 1-7
I shook my head. “I was scared. I didn’t know where I stood with you. And every time I tried to tell you, something always happened with Lila. There was always a reason to wait“)
Silence settled between us. I didn’t look at him.
Then, after a moment, he took a deep breath. “June” He murmured softly.
I blinked several times to stop my eyes from tearing up. “It doesn’t matter anymore,” I whispered. “It’s too late.”
Killian placed his hand on mine. “I know, but for what it’s worth. I’m sorry” He said, staring into my eyes with sincerity in his eyes.!!
I nodded slowly, not saying anything.
There was a moment of silence before Killian spoke again.
“The pregnancy…” he mumbled, “Was was it from that night?” He asked
That drunk night that the both of us had silently agreed to never talk about.
“Yes,” I replied.
