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After I Lost All Hope, My Girlfriend Cried and Begged Me Not to Leave
I sat at the table, watching the food grow cold, much like my heart.
Today was my birthday, but it was also the birthday of Remy, Xena’s childhood friend. I opened Remy’s Instagram and saw a new post.
“Grateful to have you by my side every birthday. Let’s keep celebrating together for years to come!”
The photo showed two hands making a heart shape in front of a cake. One of them was Xena’s, wearing the necklace I had given her.
I liked the post, then put down my phone and dumped all of Xena’s favorite dishes I had prepared into the trash. I went out to a restaurant to order my own favorites and celebrate my birthday alone..
From now on, I would make each of my birthdays special – for myself.
Halfway through my meal, Xena called. Her voice held a hint of anxiety: “Ezra, did you see Remy’s Instagram post?”
“I did.”
“I’ll be back after celebrating with him. I’ll spend next year’s birthday with you, okay? Don’t be upset!”
In the past, I would have thrown a fit, but not anymore. I simply replied, “Okay.”
The next morning, around 7 AM, I was woken up by my phone ringing. It rang three times before cutting off. I checked – it was Xena.
She used to be too lazy to use her key, so she’d always call me to let her in, ringing three times before hanging up.
No matter what I was doing, I would rush to open the door for her.
Today, I didn’t. I tossed my phone aside and went back to sleep.
The spare key was under the shoe rack by the door. She knew that.
I had been up until 3 AM packing, and my head was still fuzzy. My phone rang a few more times, but I couldn’t be bothered to look.
Some time later, I vaguely heard someone unlocking the door and coming in. The door slammed against the wall loudly, followed by my bedroom door being flung open and Xena’s angry voice.
“Ezra, why didn’t you open the door for me? I called several times! You know I hate using keys!”
I opened my eyes and looked at her impassively. “Too tired. Didn’t hear it.”
Xena opened her mouth, then closed it. Finally, she said, “I’m hungry. Get up and make me a sandwich. I didn’t sleep all night, and I need to catch up on some rest after I eat.”
In the past, I would have jumped up to make her breakfast. But now, I just said flatly, “I’m tired too. Why don’t you go downstairs and buy something?”
Xena was furious but tried to control herself. “Are you still mad about me not being here for your birthday yesterday?”
“No, you’re overthinking it.”
Xena didn’t believe me. She continued, “Remy is like a brother to me. His parents passed away when he was young. If I don’t celebrate his birthday with him, who will? Don’t be so petty, or I’ll really get angry!”
“You’re right. You should celebrate with him. I’m not upset.”
I got up to go to the bathroom.
Xena grabbed my hand and reluctantly pulled out a red string bracelet from her pocket. “Here, don’t be mad. This is your birthday gift. See? I remembered.”
Looking at the cheap red string with its dangling metal charm, which seemed so carelessly chosen, and thinking of the expensive watch Remy
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I had thought Xena’s recent frugality was to save up for my birthday gift. Apparently, I had been deluding myself.
I shook my wrist, showing the watch my mom had sent me a few days ago. “Thanks, but I already have a watch. It’s not convenient to wear this. You keep it.”
Xena snapped, “You say you’re not angry, but you used to be happy with whatever I gave you. Are you getting picky now?”
Xena’s salary wasn’t high. Her birthday gifts to me were always cheap, costing a few dollars or tens of dollars at most. Sometimes she even forgot to give me anything. But I never minded.
For her birthdays, I always prepared thoughtful gifts. Just a week ago, for her birthday, I had given her a gold necklace.
I was tired. I didn’t have the energy to argue anymore. I took the red string and put it in my pocket. “Thank you.”
I changed my clothes and opened the door. Xena called out anxiously, “Where are you going?”
“To play basketball with friends.”
Since getting together with Xena, all my free time belonged to her. I accompanied her everywhere, took care of her, and had no time left for myself.
That wouldn’t be the case anymore. I needed to live for myself now.
