16
When did Lucas return from abroad? Why didn’t anyone tell me?
Seeing him get out of a taxi at the entrance of the complex, my face turned pale, I was so flustered I didn’t know what to do.
like this
3:02 PM
<
When I got home, I let out a sigh of relief. Then Lucas’s call came through.
He must have returned home and found I wasn’t there.
I steadied myself and answered the phone. “Hello?”
Lucas’s slightly cold voice came through. “Where are you?”
I didn’t answer.
He asked again, with a hint of pressure. “Where are you?”
My mind was a bit of a mess. I made up an excuse randomly. “I went traveling.”
He laughed coldly. “Traveling requires moving all your things out? I thought we’d been robbed. What do you mean by this?”
“…I wanted to move out on my own.”
He took a small breath.
When he spoke again, the displeasure in his voice was almost palpable through the screen. “I’ll ask you one more time, where are you?”
I thought for a moment, then gripped the phone tightly and said, “Let’s break up.”
There was silence on the other end.
I hung up.
Two nights later, I snuck back to our old villa.
The big teddy bear I had left was thrown in the yard.
It had been rained on and was dirty.
With his temper, he definitely couldn’t stand being treated like this by me.
I stroked the bear’s ears and took it with me.
Carrying it was tiring and a bit ridiculous.
It took some effort to stuff it into the back seat of the taxi.
I still had some selfish hopes that he and Zoe might occasionally think of me in the future.
But I also hoped he wouldn’t take me seriously.
Do you think if I died, and Lucas couldn’t eat the food I cooked, couldn’t hear my voice, didn’t have me constantly hovering around annoying him, would he miss me?
16
I had lost a lot of weight.
I felt I wasn’t far from the most embarrassing situation Ryan had mentioned.
Euthanasia wasn’t legal domestically. I was quite depressed about that, but didn’t want to go to unfamiliar Switzerland,
In my current physical state, I couldn’t handle that kind of travel and exertion.
Ryan said if I wanted to go, he could take me.
When he said this, there was reluctance in his eyes.
<
Personally sending me off, he would definitely have nightmares afterwards.
After thinking for a long time, I decided to jump into the sea.
Of all the rivers, lakes and seas, Lucas uniquely disliked the sea. He liked winding streams, broad rivers, and quiet gentle lakes, but not the mysterious vastness of the ocean.
He was just that uninteresting as a person.
This was good too. I would die in a place he didn’t like, saving him trouble.
Lest he think of me in the future and ruin the scenery.
Although Ryan didn’t want it, I still left half my estate to him in my will.
Whether as a friend or a doctor, he had been too considerate. I had no good way to repay him.
To be honest, I didn’t have much money either.
I had originally wanted to record a video for Uncle and Aunt, but thinking of my current appearance, I decided against it and just wrote a thank you letter.
Since I was little, I had always wanted to call them Mom and Dad, so I called them that in the letter. I hope they won’t mind.
The sea breeze gusted, wailing in my ears.
On social media, I saw a photo Lucas had posted.
He was watching fireworks with Zoe.
I remembered Zoe saying once that what she missed most was childhood fireworks, carrying the most innocent and beautiful wishes.
Fireworks of various shapes bloomed in the night sky, brilliant and colorful, bursting into twinkling starlight, then falling like meteor showers.
It looked just like life at its most vibrant.
I placed my phone on a rock and plunged into the sea.
Epilogue – Ryan
When I informed Lucas of Vivian’s death, he frowned, not believing it. “Don’t joke about this.”
“Mr. Lu, I’m not joking.” I handed him Vivian’s will. “This is what she left for your parents. Please pass it on.”
He didn’t take it, didn’t even look down at it. “What is she up to now?”
I laughed inwardly. “Mr. Lu, Vivian’s body has been found by the police. You can go to the morgue to identify if it’s her.”
After saying this, I turned and left.
I didn’t look at his expression.
Seven days after Vivian’s death, Lucas returned from abroad.
His parents couldn’t contact Vivian and reported it to the police.
The police found me through leads, and I told them what had happened.
At the same time, I received a timed email from Vivian. She told me she was gone, not to miss her too much, then gave me the password to her rental place, asking me to help pass on her will to Uncle and Aunt.
She said she had written a very detailed cookbook for me. In the future, if I wanted to eat her cooking, I could learn to make it myself.
There were nickled peppers and kimchi she made in the fridge enough to last me
<
There were pickled peppers and kimchi she made in the fridge, enough to last me a long time.
She hadn’t contacted me in so long, I had a premonition.
She died on such an ordinary day.
Without telling anyone, including me.
I was in medical school. Because the egg and bean sprout pancakes in their school cafeteria were so delicious, I would go order one every day at lunch, sitting alone to eat slowly.
I’ve always had picky eating habits.
Over time, she noticed, always glancing over in my direction.
Later her bicycle broke down and I happened to pass by and help fix it. That’s how we met.
She probably thought my family was very poor, so poor that I only ate one meal a day, just one pancake.
So every time she would deliberately order two meat dishes, then pretend she couldn’t finish and ask me to help her.
I was happy to watch her performance and played along for a long time.
Until later when we met weekly, she would always bring a big bag of fruit, snacks and daily necessities, saying the girls in her dorm wanted to lose weight and asked me to help eat it.
I couldn’t take it anymore, so I deliberately wore designer clothes and carried a Prada triangle bag to meet her.
Girls should recognize this brand, right?
She looked me over quite surprised and serious, pointing at my bag, “This looks like that…”
Her expression changed. She probably thought it was fake, but was afraid of hurting my self–esteem, so she forced herself to compliment me, “It looks nice.”
I felt more and more like laughing inside.
She was always doing things like this.
Even after death, she wanted to leave half her estate to me.
When I saw the string of numbers received in my bank account, I couldn’t help but laugh.
As I laughed, I collapsed on the floor, covering my eyes that were welling up with tears.
Lucas must have gone to the morgue to confirm.
When he came out, his fists were clenched tight, his expression dazed.
I’m a doctor. I know what a body looks like after being in water.
It would probably haunt him for life.
The police handed him the phone found on the rock. It still had some battery left.
The lock screen password was easy to guess – the day her childhood cat died.
Just like how many of her passwords were her mother’s birthday.
This girl was unfathomably devoted.
Maybe because her mother passed away early. She told me to cherish every family member.
D
<
That little cat was her family.
She also said I was her family.
Silly girl.
When the screen lit up, what came into view was Lucas’s social media post.
He and Zoe watching fireworks in England, the image full of romance and beauty.
This was the last thing she saw before she died.
What must she have been feeling then?
Lucas’s face turned deathly pale.
A few days later, Lucas suddenly came to find me.
He asked me when she found out she was sick.
I said, “The day you proposed to her.”
Lucas’s eyelids trembled. “The day I proposed?”
“Yes.” I leaned back in my chair, looking at him probingly. “But what did you say again? That you didn’t actually want to marry her, it was just your parents‘ request.“‘
He seemed to understand something. His eyes instantly turned red. “No wonder.”
“No wonder what?” I sneered. “No wonder she was so upset then?”
It was clear his mental state hadn’t been good lately. He had lost a lot of weight. His voice choked up slightly, with a hint of pleading, as if desperately wanting to hear a negative answer. “Was she in a lot of pain in the last part of her life?”
I maintained my usual smile. “Mr. Lu, she had brain cancer. Late–stage brain cancer patients experience severe headaches, dizziness, accompanied by frequent nausea and vomiting. Sometimes she couldn’t see clearly, often falling when living alone. After the cancer cells metastasized, she couldn’t even describe where the pain was specifically, because her whole body hurt. She couldn’t take it anymore, that’s why she chose suicide.”
“She asked me to tell you all that she didn’t suffer much when she passed.”
I looked at him maliciously. “But I can’t bear to keep you in the dark.”
Lucas, what were you doing then?
Watching fireworks with Zoe?
“Oh right, there was one time when you three went out together. In a store, she had a headache attack and got a nosebleed in public, so she hid in the bathroom until she felt better before coming out to see you.” I said, “She called me then, but I didn’t pick up either.”
Lucas suddenly looked up at me, his eyes full of disbelief.
I smiled. “But compared to her, you were clearly more concerned about Miss Zhao’s cold.”
Lucas’s face turned ashen. He was slow to react.
A nurse gently knocked on the door. “Dr. Luo, a patient’s family is looking for you.”
I walked past him and out.
Lucas’s parents were standing outside the door.
Lucas’s mother’s eyes were red and swollen from crying. She needed Lucas’s father’s support to barely stand.
3:02 PM
<
“You were Vivian’s attending physician, and her friend. Can you tell us, did Vivian really have cancer?” Lucas’s mother reached out to me, her voice shaking. “Why didn’t she tell us anything?”
I hurriedly supported her arm. “Auntie, my condolences.”
“So in her final days, with no one to accompany her or care for her, she endured it all alone. How sad she must have been.” As Lucas’s mother spoke, tears streamed down her face again.
I gave the prepared explanation, “Auntie, don’t be too sad. Modern medical techniques are very advanced. Vivian didn’t suffer much. She just didn’t want to spend her last days relying on drugs and machines to sustain life, that’s why she chose to jump into the sea. She loved the sea, it was a kind of release for her. She didn’t want to see you all sad for her, that’s why she didn’t tell you.”
Lucas’s father was in a daze, his eyes red. He choked up, “Is that so?”
I nodded. “She said she wanted you to remember her as she was – beautiful and healthy.”
. Lucas’s mother murmured, “Even at the end, she was still thinking of my high blood pressure, reminding me to take my medicine on time and
get regular check–ups. She said she’d ask her uncle to supervise me and not let me drink.”
“Even on the day she left, my Vivian called to check on me.” She collapsed into a chair in the hospital hallway, covering her face as she cried. “I didn’t notice anything wrong at all…”
Lucas stood to the side. He knew the truth.
That’s why it was even more painful and hard to bear.
Just like me.
Epilogue – Lucas
