1
The first month after Vivian’s death.
Sometimes I would often forget this fact.
Waking up in the familiar bed in the morning, I would instinctively turn my head to look at the pillow beside me, wanting to push her feet off
- me.
But I touched emptiness.
The space beside me was also empty.
She’s gone.
She’ll never be here again.
I was stunned for a long time, suddenly remembering that in her final days, she had already rarely clung to me like that.
A week later, I gradually regained my senses. I gave up the project in England. My parents were grief–stricken over Vivian’s death and couldn’t recover. I needed to stay in the country to take care of them, commuting daily between the company and my parents‘ home.
I locked up the house Vivian and I had shared and listed it with a real estate agent for sale.
There wasn’t really anything to avoid. She had cleaned out that house thoroughly, leaving nothing related to her behind.
Oh, she left behind one stupid bear.
The note on it said something about giving it to Zoe.
I remembered she once said I looked a lot like that bear.
I thought sarcastically, was this her way of giving me to Zoe?
3:02 PM
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One day, Mom suddenly said, “Let’s go see the place where Vivian left:
Mentioning Vivian, her eyes started to redden again. “I keep dreaming of that sea. Maybe Vivian wants to see me.”
After Mom finished speaking, she and Dad both looked at me.
I picked up some food with my chopsticks for Mom. “I can have the driver take you there.”
Mom looked at me. “You don’t want to go see Vivian?”
“It’s just a sea. Besides, I’ve always been afraid of the ocean.”
Dad nodded. “Lucas was too scared to even go to the aquarium as a child. Forget it, we’ll go.”
The TV was showing the Northern Lights in Canada, the night sky like it had been injected with a swirling streak of fluorescent green paint.
I turned away, putting the dishes and chopsticks in the sink and turning on the faucet.
Mom brought back a seashell from the shore and placed it by her bedside.
Dad said when she was calling Vivian’s name, the waves brought the shell to her feet, so they took it as a gift from Vivian.
Other than that, life went on as usual.
