9
I didn’t go home.
I bought a pack of beer from a convenience store and went to the riverside, drinking in the river breeze.
I didn’t intend to torture myself, only drinking half a can, holding the rest in my hand.
Because I was afraid of the cold, I also bought a shawl from a roadside clothing store.
Ryan once asked me why I didn’t tell my family about my illness.
Before my mom died, I had been taking care of her.
Her appearance on her deathbed, emaciated, with atrophied blood vessels, unable to even insert a needle, became my deepest impression of
her.
Whenever I recall it, it’s like a dark cloud pressing on my heart. In the middle of the night, that sense of despair and desolation of watching a loved one being tortured by illness lingers.
My death doesn’t have to be like that.
Rather than having them accompany me through futile treatments, witnessing me gradually becoming weak and unsightly,
It’s better to let them remember me as healthy and beautiful.
After that, Ryan can tell them that I passed away with dignity, that modern medicine is advanced, and that I didn’t suffer much.
I stayed alone for a long time, hugging my knees and dozing off for a while. Before I knew it, it was almost dark.
I opened my phone to find many missed calls.
I randomly chose one to call back.
Lucas’s tone was angry, as if he wanted to eat me alive, “I called you so many times, why didn’t you answer?”
I was stunned for a moment before coming to my senses, instinctively feeling I had missed something, “What’s wrong? Did something happen?”
He was silent for a while, his breathing heavy, as if trying to control his emotions, “Where are you?”
I looked around, “Lakeshore Pier.”
<
He said, “Stay there, don’t move. I’m coming to get you.”
I wrapped the shawl tightly around me, obediently waiting for him where I was.
Lucas arrived faster than I expected. After parking the car, he walked quickly to me, his gaze rapidly scanning me for any issues.
After realizing I was fine, he calmed down.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
I was about to answer when I sneezed.
His expression darkened as he took off his jacket and wrapped it around me.
I actually didn’t want it, considering this jacket had been on Zoe’s shoulders at noon.
Faintly, I could still smell Zoe’s perfume.
I followed behind him, secretly taking off the jacket.
Lucas opened the car door and suddenly turned to look at me, frowning, “What’s wrong?”
I said softly, “Zoe wore it.”
I don’t want anything she’s worn.
Call me petty if you want.
I’m dying soon anyway, so I don’t need to be so understanding anymore, right?
“Who said that?” He grabbed the jacket and wrapped it around me again, his brow relaxing, “Even if she did wear it, you still have to. Isn’t your body bad enough already?”
In the car, he turned on the heater.
I said, “It’s hot.”
He said, “Serves you right.”
9
After that car accident, Lucas became very cautious when driving, taking over ten minutes to drive five kilometers.
As we were entering the house, he suddenly grabbed my hand and lowered his head to smell the alcohol on me, “How much did you drink?”
“One can.”
He clearly didn’t believe me.
I wanted to explain, but as soon as I opened my mouth, I sneezed several times in a row.
He put his palm on my forehead to check my temperature, “Do you have a fever?”
Maybe it was because I sneezed too hard, but something started flowing from my nose again.
Lucas frowned, “What’s wrong with you?”
I shook my head, covering my nose with my hand, “Maybe it’s just inflammation.”
The blood gushed out like a poorly closed faucet. Lucas’s expression changed abruptly. He told me to tilt my head back and pinch my nostrils tightly, then went to the bedroom to find some medical cotton balls to stuff into my nostrils.
He stared at me intently, his movements gentle and careful.
3:02 PM
<
The nosebleed gradually stopped, but my face and neck were sticky with blood.
Lucas brought a warm towel to wipe me clean. When he wiped my chest, his hand paused slightly.
I tugged at his sleeve, where there was a blood stain about the size of a spot, “It got on your clothes.”
He didn’t mind, focusing on my face, his brows furrowing again, “You get a nosebleed just from sneezing, are you made of porcelain?”
I nodded, frankly admitting, “I’m just relatively weak.”
I was telling the truth.
He looked me over, “Have you lost weight?”
He could still remember my weight?
Lucas went to the kitchen and cooked a fragrant bowl of noodles.
Then he watched me eat the entire bowl.
I hadn’t been this full in a long time.
My belly was even a bit rounded, so full I couldn’t move.
He brought pajamas and crouched down to change my shoes. As he lowered his head, his bangs covered his eyes, making him look patient and gentle.
For a moment, I thought we had returned to the past.
Back then, when I was malnourished due to being picky with food, he no longer indulged me and forcibly corrected my eating habits.
Actually… there are many things I want to ask him.
Back then, he had such good grades, he could have gone to a top five university in the country. Why did he stay at our mediocre school?
At that time, he said it was because it was far from home, so he wouldn’t be bothered by his family. Was that the truth?
Or was it because he was afraid I would be bullied if I went to school in another city alone?
But in the end, I didn’t ask.
Lucas received a phone call. He stood up and walked to the side, his tone and demeanor very gentle, “Mm, she’s been found.”
Some things are destined by fate.
If he hadn’t come to our school, he wouldn’t have met Zoe.
Although Zoe later couldn’t withstand the pressure and ended up with another guy, after all these years, these two are still kindred spirits.
Lucas, I don’t have much time left.
After you accompany me through this last stretch, you’ll be free.
