That’s how it’s been ever since. Mom always
sided with Olivia. So, “Mom” was just a word,
a stranger.
My illness was consuming me. I didn’t want to
fight with Olivia anymore. Why did I keep
trying to fix things? I should just give her
what she wanted, disappear from her life.
I withdrew from school.
- 8.
After the paperwork, after thanking the
helpful staff, I left the administration building.
One last stop at the registrar’s office to sign.
the final forms, and my college life would be
officially over.
I walked in and saw Olivia at a desk near the
window. She was a student assistant, helping
with administrative tasks. I was surprised to
see her. She was busy, didn’t notice me.
She’d probably hate seeing me anyway.
I placed my file on the clerk’s desk and
<
As I turned the corner downstairs, I heard
Olivia yell, “Ethan, are you insane?!”
The same furious tone from my birthday, the
night she wanted me dead. I turned back. She
held my file. The withdrawal form on top was
crumpled in her hand, tossed at my feet like
trash.
Yes, I was insane.
I’d known for a long time, no matter what I
did, she’d never give me the benefit of the
doubt. In her eyes, everything I did was
wrong, worthy of condemnation.
So, even if I told her I was dying, she wouldn’t
believe me. She’d think I was being dramatic,
seeking attention. I could almost hear her say,
“Then just die already.”
L
Her eyes met mine, filled with pure loathing. I
didn’t bother explaining, not this time.
Goodbye, Olivia.
I turned and walked away. She stood there,
watching.
- 9.
I didn’t go back to my apartment. I went to
the beach with a six–pack, sat on the sand,
the wind whipping through my hair. The
ocean, so merciless, had taken my brother,
and then my family.
Families laughed and played around me. I was
alone. I’d once had that, a loving family. Now,
it was all gone.
<
The beer and the wind made my head pound.
The doctor had told me to tell my family
about my illness. I’d lied, said they were
overseas, unreachable.
I didn’t want them to know. They wouldn’t
care. Especially Olivia. She hated me too
much. And I didn’t want them to see me…
like that.
I remembered Evan’s body, bloated, his
features distorted. The memory always.
brought a crushing weight to my chest, a
wave of despair. Olivia had told me once how
much she hated seeing dead bodies. I didn’t
want her to see me like that.
At my last appointment, the doctor said if I
didn’t start treatment, it might be too late.
